The holidays can be overwhelming in the most normal of circumstances. Thus, approaching a holiday after an infidelity or affair can seem like the most daunting of tasks. This is a delicate process that needs to have some planning behind it before you enter into this particular arena. There is no right or wrong way to handle this complicated time. However, these questions can help you in making a plan that can make it easier for you to handle.

1. Who do you trust?
We don’t trust everyone who is part of our family. Sometimes this is one of the things that can make the holidays tricky, even without such a difficult circumstance as an infidelity. The pressures associated with the holidays can leave you feeling very alone. Identifying a member of the family that you really do trust with this information can help you feel like you have an ally in those lonely moments.

2. Are you able to spend time with your spouse or partner’s family?
This can be an extremely emotional thing to handle. Sometimes, those who have been cheated on aren’t emotionally ready for this, but they soldier on through regardless. This can create even more trauma. Recognizing what you’re able to handle at this time, and respecting this for yourself is not easy, but can help you in the long run.

3. Do you know relaxation techniques?
Learning techniques to help with feelings of emotional flooding can help you to cope with the stresses of the holiday.

4. Do you have an escape plan?
It’s wise to come up with an escape plan should you feel like you need to have some time to yourself. Knowing what you would say to family in order to get out of the gathering should you need to can be extremely helpful.

5. What will you tell your family if they ask you questions?
Your family may ask questions or make statements about your relationship. Sometimes these are pure assumptions. It’s important for you to have a plan of what you will say to them, so you’re not overwhelmed when they do ask these questions.

6. Who is in your support section outside of your family?
It’s extremely important to have friends that you can call on to support you at any time. Knowing who these people are, and trusting in them at this time can help you in the very difficult situations.

Holidays can be tough. This list of questions is not final, because there are several intangible things that you have to consider. However, it can help you to prepare yourself, so that you don’t feel completely overwhelmed during the holiday season.

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