A common misconception about sex addiction is that it is the equivalent to having a lot of sex. This may or may not be the case. The reality is that sex addiction, at its core, is not really about sex. Sex is the behavior that is being displayed due to other underlying issues. Having a lot of sex, exploring yourself sexually, and having a good understanding of your sexual self are healthy when you don’t side-step your own boundaries and self-worth. People don’t need sex addiction treatment because they are having a lot of sex. They don’t even necessarily need it because they have made mistakes, such as having an infidelity or viewing pornography. Sex addiction counseling is needed when you start to feel lost, your relationship suffers, you risk your own life legally or financially, you risk your health, you harm yourself or others, etc.
If you are someone who is dealing with a problem with sexually compulsive behavior, then it’s not likely that it’s just sex that you’re dealing with. The feeling of being unable to control the behavior, being preoccupied with the behavior, or even the fantasy itself is filling an empty space in you. The problem is that this space is not really filled at all. The act of the behavior tricks your brain into believing that it’s filled, and even that only temporarily lasts.
Where does this emptiness come from? Typically, this emptiness comes from your past experiences. It doesn’t mean that you had a tumultuous or blatantly abusive childhood. Many times, sex addicts had a childhood that was peaceful, but detached. This is where Sex Addiction Therapy can help. Understanding the basis of this addiction, what it means, and the origins of it will give you a sense of self-worth, and empowerment that you haven’t experienced before. It’s not always easy, but with time, you can uncover the layers of invalidation, a lack of self-worth, and you’ll better understand how that is playing out in your current relationships.